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All You Need Is Love: Should You Go After Just Anyone You're Attracted to?
Get yourself a lover that makes you truly believe that all you need is love
All you need is love. That's what John Lennon famously penned for The Beatles' July 1967 single. As a species,
love is as basic a need as food, water, and shelter. Maybe Lennon was on to something, but just because we need
it, that doesn't mean it should be given indiscriminately.
Naturally, we only go after those we have some attraction or connection with, right? Even then, it can be worth
asking if that's a good enough reason. The truth is, reality is often far more complex than what meets the eye.
The Case For Going After Someone Because There's Attraction Present
First of all, this should seem like a no brainer for most people. You find someone hot and perhaps that someone
finds you hot, too. With the minimum requirement already there, why bother complicating things?
As much as humans would love to have a crystal ball to predict their future fortunes, even relationships that
seem like best case scenarios for them can fall to the wayside. Nobody is perfect either, so the most we can do is
give things a chance instead of automatically handing out rejections, and give our
best efforts.
For those who are just looking for something casual and fun, then this might be the best time to get what you
want. Even short-term relationships can be quite satisfying and memorable when done right, after all.
The Case Against Going After Someone Despite the Attraction Present
This is where things get interesting. As mentioned before, attraction is often the bare minimum for people who
want to give things a chance. If that's it, then there is a boatload of other factors that the couple may or may
not have taken into consideration.
Compatibility is an important one. Even the most romantically-charged couple would be hard-pressed to overlook
that for long. You may go an entire honeymoon period ignoring any incompatibilities between you, but if that's the
case, then the period that comes after that is sure to be a rough reality check.
Specifically, here are the many ways couples can look at how compatible they are:
Physical - This refers primarily to how well you and your partner click sexually.
Emotional - This refers to how much you can trust your romantic partner with your emotional
needs and vice versa.
Financial - This refers to how well you and your partner agree on money spending, as well as
how well you still click with what monetary habits you already have.
Goals - This refers to how well you and your partner understand each other's future goals.
This includes professional goals, lifestyle aspirations, and even how you intend to bring up your prospective
family.
Values - They are the things that you believe in and live by. These are the things that you
are not willing to compromise on. Compatibility on values can potentially make a relationship quite strong,
just as incompatibility here can practically be a relationship killer.
In the end, the phrase ‘All you need is love' is an oversimplification. While we all need genuine love, we cannot just go
giving and receiving it from anyone. We still have to be discerning about choosing who to partner up with so that
we can maximize our relationships to their fullest potential for happiness and satisfaction.