What to Consider Before Dating a Coworker
The soul knows no greater anguish than to take a breath that begins in love and ends with grief.
That quote from Steven Erikson’s Toll the Hounds is heft but accurate in its description of a love that ends. Those who enter precarious relationships should acquaint themselves well with grief, especially if they don’t stop to take all its nuances into proper consideration.
Looking for an example? Those who dare to start dating a coworker.
Considering the fact that adults spend roughly a third of their lives in the workplace, it should not come as a surprise that romance blooms between career-minded folks. It isn’t necessarily wrong, but things can end badly if those who enter into this kind of relationship don’t tread carefully.
If you’ve got your eye on a coworker, make sure you’ve given the following considerations enough thought:
What are Your Personal Intentions?
Romance doesn’t come equally. Some people are more interested in short-term, casual flings. Others are more serious and lean towards long-term relationships. Then, there are those who remain unsure of what they want. With that said, it’s worth remembering that the success of an office romance can hinge on what you’re looking to get out of it.
Out of the three mentioned above, being uncertain and being more interested in something casual can bring the most risk. This is especially true for the latter when one party starts to want more than something short-term. The drama that comes after affects more than just the couple, so take note if you haven’t already.
Serious relationships that form within the confines of the office are the least risky, but they can still pose dangers to those involved.
What Is Your Organizational Proximity to Your Lover?
The considerations here are both horizontal and vertical. To be clear, dating within the same company but not within the same team or department poses little risk. Even if things go south, it would not be too difficult to keep your distance or minimize any workplace drama.
Vertically, it is always a grave risk—and even inappropriate at times—to date someone either above or below you in the organizational hierarchy. If you date a subordinate, you risk coming off as unethical. That may be one absolute boundary to uphold.
If you date a supervisor or a manager, you risk having any professional success being looked at as a result—be it partial or in full—of your relationship. It can brew resentment and it would not reflect well on your superior.
What are Your Company’s Policies Towards Dating Coworkers?
There are companies with loose regulations about employees dating one another. That gives those interested in dating coworkers an honest shot at what they want. From there, the rest is up to the individuals in question. However, this isn’t always the case.
There are also some companies that strictly forbid this. Those intent on carrying on anyway will have to do so in secret, which makes for a huge hassle. Not to mention the genuine danger that would pose to their jobs.
Whatever reason the company may have to allow or forbid relationships among their employees, it is best to check before taking the leap. Both your personal and professional life could be at stake if you don’t.
Dating a coworker doesn’t have to mean professional suicide, nor is it guaranteed to end in grief. Just like all relationships, it comes with its own risks, so be smart. Think with your head and hopefully your decision will lead to lasting happiness instead of anguish.