Long Distance Relationship Reality: 5 Truths to Know About
Do long distance relationships last?
When in a long distance relationship, oftentimes, the challenges outweigh the joys of being romantically involved with someone.
As a result, most, if not all, would say that long distance relationships are a waste of time, pointing to factors such as lack of intimacy and communication.
Meanwhile, those who side with the contrary say that modern technology (e.g., Facetime, online movie dates, and bond touch bracelets) and an increased level of effort from both parties (e.g., constant communication, gift packages, and scheduling offline visits) can help bridge the gap.
However, the success of the relationship ultimately depends on how you and your partner will be able to handle it.
Indeed, you will have to overcome your relationship’s unique challenges. While trying out the recommended long distance activities on the Internet might help, there’s no guarantee it’ll make it easier.
That being said, you need to remind yourself of the long distance relationship reality.
These truths are not rules or solutions, but they can help develop your mindset to make the relationship last.
1. Communication is not optional, but a long chat is not an everyday requirement.
Communication is the foundation of every relationship, as it helps keep your connection strong.
However, you’re not necessarily required to have long conversations with your partner every day. Small updates and quick conversations are enough to help keep the spark alive.
While limited communication may trigger your insecurities, you need to understand that you both lead busy lives. If you’re living in different time zones, it can be especially hard to keep the conversation going.
However, in every long distance relationship reality, there’s a silver lining.
Although your daily conversations may not be lengthy, the quality time you spend together through chat or call, talking about your wins and struggles, becomes precious.
But remember, while you don’t have to spend hours on the phone every day, honest communication is always a must.
Ask for what you need, voice out your insecurities, and don’t let the conversation end unless everything is resolved. Otherwise, you’re risking sadness, anger, and resentment to make its way into your relationship.
2. Challenges are unavoidable, but it doesn’t define your relationship.
The reality of long distance relationships is filled with unique challenges. Sometimes, you may feel like it would be easier to end things with your partner, thinking that nothing will change.
You still wouldn’t be able to see them, it would still be painful seeing happy couples around you, and you’d still have no one to give you a hug whenever you’re having a bad day.
The challenges may be overwhelming, but don’t let them define your long distance relationship reality.
Otherwise, although you may be happy and in love with your partner, it can feel like your relationship isn’t worth it, as all you talk about are the challenges and the negative emotions that accompany them.
Instead, remember the joys you shared with your partner.
If you want to vent about the challenges and express your sadness, avoid making them feel responsible because they’re likely experiencing similar emotions. Instead, be thankful for what you have and appreciate their efforts in keeping your relationship going.
3. Others can’t foresee the future of your relationship.
Oftentimes, when others hear about the situation between you and your partner, they’ll come up with their own list of long distance relationship expectations vs reality.
For example, they might expect you to remain faithful, while assuming your partner is cheating. For some, it can indeed be a struggle to remain faithful to their partner. However, it’s not impossible.
You’re the one who truly knows your partner, so don’t let others dictate the flow or outcome of your relationship.
Trust is essential in long distance relationships, although it can be challenging due to past trauma or your partner’s history. However, avoid jumping to conclusions based on other people’s opinions.
In the reality of long distance relationships, you need to constantly choose to trust your partner, especially when there’s no evidence supporting other people’s claims.
If you can’t trust them no matter how hard you try to come up with reasons, then distance is not the problem.
4. Your relationship is not like anyone else’s.
When looking at other couples, it can be easy to wish that you had their life. Unlike you, they get to see their partner on the weekends or go on vacation with them.
However, there is not one long distance relationship reality without challenges.
If you start comparing your relationship to others, all you will see are your imperfections, and ultimately, you will never be satisfied.
The same holds true when you measure your relationship against a set list of long distance relationship expectations vs reality. Failing to achieve the same reality on that list can lead you to feel frustrated.
Instead, remember that your relationship is not like anyone else’s. Like others, you will have your good and bad moments together.
That being said, as you face your challenges, avoid thinking that there is a one-size-fits-all approach.
Embrace your uniqueness and work with your partner to utilize your strengths, weaknesses, and resources to create a relationship where both of you are happy and content with your current progress, rather than pursue a “perfect” one.
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5. Relationship struggles don’t stop even when you’re together.
One hard-to-swallow reality of long distance relationships is that the struggles don’t stop even when you’re finally together.
In fact, they might even intensify as you adjust to being together in one place after being separated for so long.
However, as you were once miles apart, you’ll learn to appreciate your partner’s presence instead of taking it for granted.
Moreover, you’ll be okay with them spending time away for a family vacation or a business trip, as you’ve already gone through long periods without them.
Long Distance Relationship Reality: Does It Last?
There are positive and negative views regarding the success of long distance relationships.
However, it’s best not to side with any of these.
If you worry too much about the challenges, you might forget the good things about your relationship.
Meanwhile, if you try to follow all the recommended solutions to bridge the gap with your partner, you may end up pushing them further away, as the approach might not match your interests, values, and relationship situation.
Instead, be reminded of the aforementioned truths and accept that there is no perfect long distance relationship reality.
Simply go with life’s flow and make your relationship last by adjusting to each other’s needs as you go on.
