Uncovering Desires: What Men Want in a Relationship

A woman trying to understand what men want in a relationship
Figuring out what men want in a relationship may be challenging, but it’s not impossible to decipher.

Women are often more vocal when talking about relationship desires and needs. On the other hand, men’s wants typically remain a mystery.

Catering to men becomes a struggle because they tend to keep quiet about their likes and dislikes in a relationship.

They think and act differently from women because of different priorities and preferences. This becomes even more difficult if a woman is dealing with a mysterious type of man.

Is this a challenge? Yes. Fortunately, it’s not an impossible one.

How can women decipher what men want in a relationship? Here are the things you need to know.

Misconceptions: What Women Think Men Want

Since men tend to be tight-lipped about their thoughts, many women can’t help but make guesses and assumptions about their wants and feelings.

Many articles about men’s desires have misconceptions surrounding them.

What are these falsehoods? Let’s go through some common ones and learn why they’re untrue.

1. Men only want the physical.

Physical intimacy is a normal part of relationships. However, that’s not the only element that makes them healthy and functional.

There’s an unfair stereotype surrounding men and physical intimacy. It’s about how they’re only after a physical relationship and nothing more. Perhaps this notion exists because they tend to vocalize their desire for it.

However, men are more complex than that.

Men need love too. They also want deeper emotional connections, provided they find a woman they view as special.

2. Men think about the physical all the time.

Many articles say men think about the physical aspect of relationships every seven seconds. If that were true, no one would be productive.

Yes, men fantasize about women every now and then. The thing is, it’s human nature.

Women have their share of fantasies about men as well. Is physical intimacy fun? Yes. However, we assure you they have other things occupying their minds.

3. They’re only nice when they want something from you.

Have you been warned not to let appearances deceive you? This warning comes with a reason.

Some people only keep up appearances due to ulterior motives.

Woman showing affection to her partner.
Don't let misconceptions fool you. Men need love too!

Unfortunately, some men are only nice to women because of hidden agendas. However, don’t let that discourage you and ruin your perception. Men with good intentions do exist.

Do you want to break this misconception? Don’t be a conditional gentleman. Make your intentions clear and don’t lead women on.

4. Men are commitment-phobes.

Commitment is a heavy word many people are afraid of. There’s this perception that men steer clear of it because they don’t want to lose their independence.

They apparently want the freedom to make their moves on other women while pursuing one.

But doesn’t the fear of commitment apply to everyone? We’re all scared of sticking with the wrong person.

Commitment is what men want in a relationship, as long as they find someone worth committing to.

5. Men are cold.

Men are long thought to be insensitive beings devoid of emotion. And because they deny and rarely verbalize their feelings, many people automatically think they’re cold.

Contradictory to popular belief, men are sensitive. Don’t assume they’re always unbothered just because they don’t say much.

They’re human beings who, like you, have feelings.

6. Men are insecure around successful women.

Many movies and TV shows depict men being scared of successful women. Once they find out they earn more and have more skill and influence over them, they then project their insecurities onto them.

The reality is men don’t mind having relationships with successful women. More often than not, they’re proud of having such partners.

What they may not like are haughty attitudes.

7. Men don’t listen to women.

Many women value non-verbal cues in conversations. This view may explain why they think men don’t listen to them because their body language isn’t as expressive as theirs.

They may not look like it, but men do listen to whatever women have to say. As long as they’re saying sensible things, they don’t see a reason not to pay attention.

What they may have difficulty with is gauging women’s intent.

What Men Truly Want in a Relationship

Since you now know the misconceptions surrounding men’s wants, it’s time to move on to men’s true desires.

What can a woman offer a man in a relationship?

Below are a few of the many things men want in their romantic relationships.

1. Honesty

When you ask a guy about what men want in a long-term relationship, honesty is among their top answers.

Not only do they want to trust their partners, but they also wish they would be just as honest with them.

If you need to tell them something, just say it—even if they don’t want to hear it. It’ll save you from unnecessary drama.

2. Independence

Men need to be loved, but they also need a degree of independence from their partners. Like you, they need some space from their relationships.

This is where boundaries come in. If you can respect their need for a healthy distance, your relationship will be much better.

Not only will it make you miss each other more, but it’ll also strengthen your self-identity.

3. Security

Insecure partners make for a miserable relationship. If you leave insecurities unaddressed, don’t be surprised if trust issues and other problems plague your day-to-day lives together.

No one should put up with a partnership that doesn’t acknowledge and validate both parties’ needs.

If something triggers a man’s insecurity, encourage him to bring it up before it becomes unbearable.

4. Acceptance

Couple hanging out in front of a house
Don’t be afraid to vocalize your likes and dislikes in a relationship.

At the risk of sounding cliché, comparison is indeed the thief of joy.

Men want partners who fully accept them, flaws and all. Should you call them out on a mistake, do it from a constructive place.

5. Growth

If you think men are allergic to growth, that’s false. They want to settle down and grow with a partner just as much as women do.

If they’re given a healthy environment to do so, you can guarantee they won’t think twice about taking your relationship further.

6. Support

People expect men to conquer every hurdle alone. These obstacles range from financial problems to family issues.

But they too want a reliable partner who will always be in their corner and can step up when needed.

7. Vulnerability

Society unfairly expects men to keep cool at all times and hide any vulnerability. Any inch of that is considered a weakness.

The reality is that this notion is incorrect.

If you were to ask a guy what men want in a woman, they’d tell you they want a lady who gives them space to express themselves freely, even in their ugliest moments.

Men look for relationships that make room for vulnerability. They want emotional intimacy just as much as women do, so don’t let machismo fool you.

This article may have covered what men want in a relationship, but it’s not just women who can learn from this. Men can use this as their guide as well.

That being said, may this encourage you to figure out what you need and desire in your search for love.

A woman looking at a man who is looking at a phone. A woman looking at a man who is looking at a phone.