How to Spot Dating Red Flags in Women

A red flag on a golf course.
Watch out for dating red flags - they can sneak up on you!

Nobody’s perfect. You might meet someone and fall so hard and so fast that you convince yourself they’re perfect, but they’re not. Everyone has flaws, and that’s part of the human experience.

But in the world of dating, some of these flaws—call them red flags—can indicate that your date isn’t the person you should be in a relationship with. Even worse, they can indicate that your date is a person you should avoid altogether.

But how does one identify these dating red flags so as to avoid them?

First of all, you have to know what you’re looking for. Then you have to be able to identify the dating red flags to look for in a woman.

Spotting Dating Red Flags

When you meet someone new who completely sweeps you off your feet, it’s tempting to jump right into the relationship with complete and total abandon.

But don’t forget that it’s fools who rush in.

Don’t go around declaring how deeply you love the other person when it’s just the first date. Take time to get to know them and see the red flags for yourself.

It’s all about vigilance, but you can’t overdo it either. If you spend all your time and energy looking for the red flags, you’ll miss the green flags in a relationship. What you want to do is to find a balance between being vigilant and being open to new possibilities. That balance is going to be different for each person, but the best thing to do is to keep an open mind.

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Examples of Dating Red Flags in a Woman

That said, what are some of the red flags in dating women that guys should look out for? If you see these waving about, then it’s time to check who’s next on the phonebook.

It’s All About Her

Everyone has narcissistic tendencies. That’s fine. It’s okay to be a little self-centered every now and then. But problems can arise when someone is self-centered all of the time. If a woman talks about herself and only herself, then that’s a red flag.

A man talking at a woman who isn’t looking at him.
Someone who’s got a lot of red flags is only going to stress you out.

In the early stages of the relationship, you’ll be enamored and when she talks about herself, you’ll likely listen with rapt attention and tell yourself that it’s only natural for her to talk about herself. How else are you supposed to get to know here?

But try to get a word in edgewise and see how she reacts. If she listens with the same attention you gave her, then that’s good. She wants to get to know you. If she tries to steer the conversation back to herself, then that’s a sign that she doesn’t care about getting to know you and only wants an audience while she monologues about herself.

The Ex Factor

Of the numerous dating red flags in a woman, a huge one is if she says that all of her exes are crazy. Look, no one’s saying that no woman in throughout history has ever dated a crazy man — it happens pretty often. But if a woman has a long history of dating men who are crazy, she either has emotional issues that keep drawing her to crazy men or she herself is the crazy one. It could even be both.

Speaking of her exes and dating red flags, it’s one if she bad-mouths all of them. Either she’s bitter, in which case she may not be in the headspace to start a relationship, or she’s the problem, in which case you’re going to want to steer clear of her.

Still speaking of her exes, probably the most crimson of all the red flags for dating a woman is when said ex isn’t technically an ex. If her last relationship isn’t technically over by the time she starts dating you, then chances are that she won’t wait until things are over with you if she wants to start something new.

A woman looking at a man who is looking at a phone. A woman looking at a man who is looking at a phone.

She Can’t Be Away from You, but Not in a Good Way

When it comes to romantic red flags in a woman, one that you’ll definitely want to steer clear of is codependency. You might think that a woman being clingy is a good thing and it might make you feel wanted at first. But if her entire world falls apart with you, then she doesn’t need a boyfriend, but a therapist.

Eventually, codependency is going to chafe at you. You won’t be able to get a minute of alone time. You’re her world and she wants to be the center of yours. That’s fine in most cases, but she doesn’t want there to be anything else that pulls your attention and she may have a mental breakdown if you don’t pay attention to her.

Dating someone who’s codependent is going to mean that you’ll exhaust a lot of energy tending to her emotions.

Oh, and you’re going to need to keep your phone charged because the constant calls and texts from her are going to drain your battery no matter what your phone’s capacity is.

A woman looking at a man who looks forlorn.
Being the center of her world is a good thing, being her entire world might be a little too much for you.

More Drama than a Performing Arts School

Still on the topic of emotional fragility, another red flag that needs to be looked out for is if she’s a drama queen. Some people are emotional and they’re not shy about expressing it. Big displays of emotion are all well and good when they’re warranted, but if she had a meltdown or celebration that demands attention over every little thing, then she’s a drama queen.

You can keep dating her if you want, but the thing about drama queens is that they’re usually pretty self-centered because they’re under the belief that their emotions matter more than anyone else’s. This can mean that they’re not great at emotionally supporting their partners.

Dropping the Love Bombs

Related to both of the above is love bombing. This is when someone showers someone with affection. Look, affection is to be expected, but some people take it too far and too early. They’ll make grandiose declarations of love on the first date. This is a manipulation tactic to make someone fall for them as fast as possible. Then, once you’re emotionally invested, they reveal their true selves.

Nobody’s perfect, even though everyone tries hard to look like they are when they’re dating. Everyone’s got flaws, but dating red flags are not the kind of flaws that should be overlooked. So stay on the lookout for red flags so you’ll know when it’s time to run in the other direction.

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