12 Signs You’re Getting Over a Breakup
You’ve just broken up. But why does it feel like the worst is far from over?
The process of moving on from a breakup is different for everyone. Everyone heals at their own pace.
A study by researchers from Binghamton University and University College London suggests that breakup stages for men and women could be different. This study found that women experience more emotional and physical pain than men after a breakup.
Interestingly, it also shows that women tend to recover faster than men. While women tend to process their heartbreak constructively, men may resort to alcohol abuse and violence and are less likely to develop a healthy coping mechanism. In the end, men struggle more to move on.
Nevertheless, moving on is not impossible. It may take time for some, but it will happen eventually. Some move on instantly, as soon as 2 weeks after a breakup, while others may need months or even years. There is no set timeline for moving on.
But being able to detect the signs you’re getting over a breakup can help you stay on track and know that you’re on the road to recovery.
Here, we hope to provide wisdom on how you can move on. By the end of this article, you’ll hopefully be able to pat yourself on the back and acknowledge that you’re taking the first steps toward healing.
Dos and Don’ts When It Comes to Moving On
Breakups suck. Everyone knows that. That’s why you have to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, as long as you’re not harming yourself and others. Just do what you feel is right and give yourself enough time to process your emotions.
Here are a few Dos and Don’ts to consider as you continue on your path to healing:
Dos:
1. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions.
Feelings of sadness, pain, and rage are natural after a breakup. They are valid. So let them out. You can cry, scream, or talk to someone you trust about your real feelings. If you try to bottle up your emotions, it will only do more harm than good. You will feel overwhelmed and stressed instead of moving on.
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2. Give yourself time.
There is no set timeline for getting over a breakup. It may take weeks, months, or years to fully heal. It’s not a competition. So be patient and don’t pressure yourself to move on before you’re ready.
3. Avoid contact with your ex.
Avoid any type of contact with your ex, whether it’s in person, through social media, or, by phone. Avoid places where your ex might be. Do not check their social media account. Delete their contacts. The more you keep the connection, the harder it is to let go.
4. Don’t rush into anything new.
Don’t jump into a new relationship after a breakup. It’s tempting, but it cannot help you get over your ex. You may just end up carrying your baggage into the new relationship.
5. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help.
If you’re struggling to cope with your breakup, reach out to your trusted people. Talk to your family, friends, or a therapist. You don’t need to go through this alone. Don’t be ashamed to ask and accept help from other people.
Don’ts:
1. Ruminating About the Breakup
You might be constantly thinking about your ex and the possibility of getting back with them. You might even be thinking of the things you can do before you take them back, believing there is still hope after your impulsive breakup. This will only make it harder to move on. Try to focus on other things and distract yourself when you start to think about your ex.
2. Isolating Yourself From Others
You disconnect yourself from the world and the people around you. You don’t feel the need to be loved and supported during these trying times. Remember that it’s normal to take a break from the world after a breakup, but you will need the love and support from your loved ones to heal.
3. Using Drugs or Alcohol to Cope
You may think that alcohol is your best friend while moving on, but you thought wrong. Alcohol and substance abuse can numb the pain of heartbreak in the short term, but it will only make things worse in the long run.
4. Obsessively Checking Your Ex’s Social Media
You compulsively check your ex’s social media to stay updated on their life, see what they’re up to, or find out if they’re feeling the same way you are. Seeing and knowing what your ex is up to will only trigger negative emotions, which will make it harder to move on.
5. Getting Into Rebound Relationships
You jump into a new relationship because you feel like a new one will make you forget the previous one. That’s not always the case. Most of the time, rebound relationships are doomed to fail.
12 Signs You’re Getting Over a Breakup
If you’ve already taken steps to heal and you’re feeling like you’re making progress, you may be wondering if you’re actually healing from your breakup.
Here are some signs you’re healing from a breakup:
1. You think of your ex without feeling sad or angry.
This could mean that you’ve already processed your emotions about the breakup. You are no longer dwelling on the negative aspect of your failed relationship. When you think about your ex, you are feeling grateful rather than resentful.
2. You stopped pondering about what could’ve been.
When you are no longer wondering what would have happened if things had been different, it’s a solid sign that you have accepted the breakup.
3. You can look at couples without dying inside.
You are no longer jealous when you see couples. You feel happy for them and you no longer feel like you are missing out on something. You feel that you’re free of bitterness and all you feel is gratefulness to the experience.
4. You don’t check their social media or contact them anymore.
This is a good sign that you’re no longer interested in your ex and what they’re up to. You no longer have the feeling of keeping tabs on them. You are now more attentive to your life and your happiness.
5. You’re starting to feel like yourself again.
You are no longer clouded by your negative emotions. Now, you start to believe again that good things are in store for you. You are more focused on finding peace after a breakup.
1. You’re feeling more positive about the future.
This could mean that you have realized you can’t change the past, but you can do something about the future. Your goals are getting clearer and you no longer let the memories of the past hold you back.
2. You’re interested in meeting new people again.
You are now opening yourself to new people. You get excited about the possibility of building new connections.
3. You’re sleeping better and eating healthier.
You’ve already learned to take care of your physical and mental health. You are making more effort to feel your best. You are taking steps to improve your overall well-being.
4. You’re spending more time with your friends and family.
Having come from isolation, you are now starting to rebuild relationships with your friends and family. You are spending more time with the people you love and trust. You are now ready to accept their love and support.
5. You’re no longer dwelling on the past.
This means that you do not let the past define you. You are learning from your experience and you are slowly moving on from your life. You are more focused on the present and the future.
6. You can think of your ex with someone.
You are no longer possessive or jealous when you think about your ex with another person. You no longer believe when people say that they always come back. You have accepted that you and your ex are moving on with your lives.
7. You believe in love again.
This is one of the good signs you are getting over your ex. You are no longer cynical about love, and you believe that there is someone out there for you. However, you are not desperate for love. You have learned not to doubt and ask if you will ever find love after a breakup.
“Sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe
Breakups aren’t always bad. Often, they are opportunities for us to grow as individuals. They form a necessary part of our journey to finding the right person. But naturally, they aren’t easy to deal with either. Whether you’re in a permanent or temporary breakup, you can’t escape from sadness, pain, and even rage. However, as long as you keep doing something to improve your situation, you deserve a pat on the back.
As you begin to show signs your heart is healing, learn to congratulate yourself. Remember, healing from a breakup takes time. There will be good days and bad days, but it’s important to celebrate your progress along the way. With time and effort, you will eventually heal and move on.
