Learning When to Walk Away from Infidelity
Should I stay or should I walk away?
If you find yourself in a position where you’ve just discovered your partner’s infidelity, you’ve likely asked yourself this question multiple times.
With feelings such as betrayal, pain, sadness, and anger all coming to you at once, it’s not easy to decide on an answer.
On some days, you’re leaning towards wanting to stay and working things through, and on other days, you just want to break it off and start over, with someone new.
While wanting to stay isn’t wrong, sometimes, learning when to walk away is the best decision you can make for yourself.
Having said that, here are some instances on knowing when to walk away from infidelity.
Lack of Apology or Remorse
For some, apologizing can be difficult because it means acknowledging their failure. However, saying sorry for cheating on you is the bare minimum that your partner can do after hurting you.
If they’re unwilling to apologize, take it as a sign that it’s okay to walk out of someone’s life.
Their lack of apology simply shows that they’re unwilling to put in the effort of fixing your relationship.
But if they do offer an apology, assess whether there is genuine remorse behind their words.
Some are quick to apologize but are only doing it to get the issue out of the way.
Blame-Shifting or Gaslighting
When confronted by their infidelity, some cheaters are quick to shift the blame or gaslight their partner.
If your partner blames you for their affair, claiming that you lacked effort in the relationship, walk away from the disrespect.
While their complaints may be valid, recognize that they could have taken a different course of action.
Instead of seeking fulfillment elsewhere, they could have taken the time to address their concerns with you.
Moreover, their complaints towards you and their infidelity are two separate issues.
They may have been hurt. However, they too, should acknowledge and take responsibility for making you go through something similar.
If they try to gaslight you by saying that you’re overreacting, avoid downplaying your emotions.
Trust your instincts, and if possible, keep tangible proof of their affair to validate your experience.
Avoiding Discussions
Sometimes, learning to walk away is the first step towards healing from infidelity.
After apologizing, your partner should be willing to reassure you of their commitment and work things through.
This includes reflecting on their infidelity and engaging in open discussions with you.
However, if they’re avoiding the topic, take it as your cue to leave them.
Avoid assuming that their reluctance to talk about it is out of their concern of not wanting to hurt you any further.
The truth is, they fail to fully see the negative effects of their affair.
In such a case, walking away from someone who doesn’t value you or your relationship is the right choice to make.
Refusal to Cut Off Contact with their Affair Partner
The path to finding freedom from toxic people involves setting boundaries.
If your partner expresses their desire to rebuild your trust and fix your relationship, ask them to cut off contact with their affair partner.
Establishing this boundary provides you with a sense of security that they won’t repeat their infidelity.
However, if they refuse to cut off communication, it’s time for you to walk away.
Keep in mind that, while they may resist the temptation for a while, certain situations could lead them to fall back into cheating.
If their affair partner is a colleague or common friend, make it clear that they should be willing to make changes if they want to work through the issue with you.
If not, be willing to walk away.
Others Advice You to Leave
It takes awareness to know when to keep fighting and when to walk away. However, it’s difficult when you can only see your relationship from your perspective.
After your partner’s infidelity, turn to your support system for advice.
They may be able to point out things that you initially failed to realize about your partner or your relationship.
However, know that their opinions shouldn’t be the only basis of your final decision.
Instead, use them to help you in your judgment.
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How to Walk Away from Your Cheating Partner
Indeed, learning when to walk away is difficult when your emotions and thoughts are all jumbled up inside your head.
However, even if you’re set on leaving, it can be similarly challenging to know how to walk away from your cheating partner.
Hence, here are some ways to go about it.
Stay Firm in Your Decision
As you recall the good times you had together, it’s easy to cling to the hope that you can help your partner change their ways.
However, if you’ve been hurt by them many times before, remind yourself to always prioritize your well-being.
Stay firm in your decision to walk away. Cut off contact with them, unfollow them on social media, and avoid running into them.
This way, you’re closing off all opportunities for you to fall back into your toxic relationship.
Identify the Benefits of Leaving a Cheating Partner
You may find it challenging to walk away from your cheating partner due to the perks you enjoy in the relationship, such as shared finances, reputation, or connections.
However, it’s important that you weigh these relationship perks against the potential benefits of leaving.
For instance, if one of the perks in the relationship is having shared finances, leaving may present you the opportunity to pursue independent endeavors like starting a small business or getting a job abroad.
Similarly, if one of the perks is a circle of connections, you might realize that leaving opens the door for positive changes in your relationships.
For instance, interacting with new people can help you learn different approaches to relationships, allowing for personal growth.
Have a Solid Support System
Just as they have helped you know when to walk away, they will also guide you in leaving.
They will provide emotional support, helping you regain your self-esteem and find your purpose outside of the relationship.
Moreover, they will be the ones who can offer you a place to live, some cash, or help you find a new job when walking away from the relationship has left you financially vulnerable.
In addition to your family and friends, you can also consider seeking support from a therapist who can offer their expertise in helping you navigate your emotions.
Plan How to Deal with the Transition
Plan how you’ll live your life without your cheating partner.
Know where you will stay, when you will move, and which shared possessions you will take ownership of.
If you’re financially dependent on your partner, consider finding a higher-paying job, getting a second one, or taking up a part-time gig.
If you have children together, consider custody arrangements, visitation schedules, and financial responsibilities.
Practice Self-Care
Treat yourself for learning to walk away and following through with your decision.
Take all the time you need to rest or pursue interests and activities you have always planned on doing.
Moreover, practice affirmations that acknowledge your bravery for leaving the relationship and affirm that you deserve to be loved.
Learning When to Walk Away: Is It the Right Choice?
After being cheated on, it’s difficult to know the right choice: Should you give them a second chance or should you walk away?
There’s no definite answer as your decision depends on your situation.
However, the right choice would always be the one wherein your well-being is prioritized.
If you decide to stay, then take time to heal from the pain of infidelity and rebuild your relationship with your partner.
But if you decide to walk away, allow yourself to move past the feelings you had in the relationship, even if you did not receive any closure.
Moreover, learn to forgive your partner to make way for healing.
And, if possible, seek professional help to navigate through complex issues.
