The Ideal Man That Women Want

A man reading a newspaper.
An ideal man is a person women want and men aspire to be.

As man evolves, so does their concept of what is ideal.

In ancient Greek times, the ideal man would be someone with a sound mind and a sound body. This would be a well-educated man in good physical shape and one who could also fight to defend himself and others if need be.

Over time, what’s ideal in a man has changed and has become varied from culture to culture. In ancient Japan, the ideal would have been a samurai who was bound to honor the code of Bushido. In the United States, the ideal might be a cowboy who rides into town to defend the townsfolk from bandits. In medieval Europe, the ideal might have been a chivalrous knight. In all cases, what’s ideal is a man with character.

The ideal man is the guy that women want and the man that men aspire to be. But what is an ideal man in modern times and how does one achieve that status? And what is an ideal man for a woman?

The Ideal Man Controls Himself

First up, there’s temperament. Women like a man who is in touch with his emotions because that makes him more likely to be emotionally available, but they also like it when a man is in control of his emotions because men who act emotionally can often get violent.

On the other side, men want to be able to control their emotions because stoicism is also part of the masculine ideal. A man who is able to control himself is not a slave to his emotions and the ideal is for men to always be in control. Emotional outbursts are frowned upon by men who like to think that they have self-control.

Regardless of the motivation for emotional stability, how does one achieve this? How does one keep his emotions in check? Breathing exercises help. They can help calm a person down so they don’t do anything in the heat of the moment.

A guy wearing a turtleneck and glasses.
Keep your emotions in check because you can't let them control you.

For men who have real trouble with regulating their emotions, they might benefit from therapy. Women like a man who can admit to going to therapy, because it makes him seem more vulnerable and a lot of women are nurturers. Plus, going to therapy shows self-awareness because only someone who knows he’s got a problem would try to fix it.

He’s Funny

Another thing that women look for in a guy is a sense of humor. There’s an old saying about funny guys getting the girl. And 80% of the time, that is true. Women like a man with a sense of humor because he is fun to be with, and can lighten any mood with his antics. If a guy can make a girl laugh, then she’s basically putty in his hands.

Humor is incredibly subjective, but one of the most crucial aspects is timing. If he makes a joke, then he has to be able to time it just right.

And his sense of humor should be actually his own. Too often, guys think that being funny is just saying the same pop culture reference over and over again. Yes, there is a time for that on occasion, but most quips should be situational and original.

He’s Confident, Not Arrogant

So, what’s another trait that quality men have? Confidence. People say that women like bad boys, but studies show that that’s not actually true. Rather, women are attracted to confident men and it’s just that the so-called ‘bad boys’ tend to have it in abundance.

It’s also why nice guys supposedly finish last. Other than these ‘nice guys’ not being all that nice, many of them are so lacking in confidence that the very prospect of talking to a woman in a romantic context makes them shrivel up in fear.

But, women don’t want an arrogant man. They want a guy who can look them in the eye, not one that’s going to look down at them. So how does a guy make himself confident without overdoing it?

 A guy sitting by a window.
Know your own worth, but don’t trick yourself into thinking everyone will see that worth.

First, he has to know his worth and what he has to offer. But he also has to remember that not everyone is going to want what he has to offer. By doing both, a guy can develop confidence without letting that confidence swell his head to unmanageable proportions.

He’s Got Goals

Women also like a man who is driven. An ideal man should have goals and the drive to reach them. A man who’s stagnated in life becomes listless and lazy. A woman might see him as having never grown up and she won’t want a guy like that because then she’ll also have to take on the role of mothering him in addition to being his romantic partner.

A lot of guys have things that they want in life. The trouble is that many of them don’t know how to get those things. That, or they’re too lazy. If a guy wants to be driven, then he needs to get off the couch, figure out what he wants and look for ways to get them. Then he needs to make a plan and then act on it.

He Supports His Woman

There are many things to look for in a man, but there’s one trait that a lot of women want but can’t seem to find, not in a genuine fashion. That trait is supportiveness. Ever since women entering the workforce became the norm, a lot of them have developed professional ambitions.

However, two-thirds of women who leave the workforce do so because they get a husband and decide that they need to be at home to raise kids.

So if a man can be genuinely supportive of a woman’s career and be her cheerleader, then he’s rarer than a unicorn and most women won’t be inclined to let him go.

He’s Willing to Make Things Work

Here’s another trait that women want in a man; he’s willing to put in the work. Unless two people get incredibly lucky and are perfect for each other in every way, they are going to have to put work into their relationship.

There’s an initial honeymoon phase, but then the honeymoon phase ends and reality sets in. Hardships happen and conflicts arise. A lot of people exit the relationship because they can’t deal with the end of the honeymoon phase.

But if a guy is willing to stick around and work through the hardship, then he’s the kind of guy that women find ideal.

There’s a lot of things that make up an ideal man, the kind that men aspire to be and women dream of being with. Is there such a thing as an ideal guy? Or is that guy just a myth? Well, even if a guy like that is just a myth, it wouldn’t hurt to embody some of the traits such a man would possess.

A woman looking at a man who is looking at a phone. A woman looking at a man who is looking at a phone.