What Do I Deserve in a Relationship? | 8 Things You Need
You know it’s becoming toxic when you find yourself drained, alone, and wondering, “What do I deserve in a relationship?”
It’s true that when you love someone, you never ask for anything in return. But that’s because in a healthy relationship, your partner would willingly reciprocate love without having to be told.
A partnership is a give-and-take. You mutually want to love and help each other for your personal well-being and for your relationship to flourish. It’s not because you require the other to do so but because you inherently deserve it as a person and as their partner.
If you have that gut feeling of “I know I deserve more” troubling you, most probably your instincts are right. When we are undervalued, our sense of meaning and self-esteem is weak. But sometimes for different reasons, we push this aside and blindly continue with the relationship.
Signs You Deserve Better
It’s not always easy to spot the red flags especially when you’re head over heels in love. But time will help you get to know each other better—the good sides and the bad.
If your partner’s unhealthy behaviors are causing problems in your relationship, it’s still possible to work things out and change for the better. Worst case, the erring person defends their actions or doesn’t admit to them. They may even turn the tables and put the blame on you.
People who are not aware of their partner’s manipulative tendencies could berate themselves with self-accusations like “What did I do wrong to deserve this?”
If your partner is unappreciative, selfish, and dishonest, then it might be time to reassess the relationship. These might be the signs you deserve better and that you need to let go of your toxic partner.
Instead of excusing them or consoling yourself that things will change someday, accept that maybe your partnership isn’t the kind of love that you imagined it to be. Tell yourself, “I deserve better in a relationship” and simply walk away.
Knowing how you deserve to be treated in a relationship will help you steer away from the negative ones and open yourself to the right kind of partner.
8 Things You Deserve in a Relationship
Trust and Security
A relationship is a mutual commitment built on the foundation of trust. Without it, a partnership cannot take off or most likely it will be short-lived. You can only build a relationship with someone who you know will totally commit to it like you do. Trust in each other’s love and faithfulness gives a relationship meaning and direction.
It also gives security that you have someone you can rely on through thick and thin, cooperating with each other for the better. The love you deserve makes you feel assured. You’re not doubting if the other has your back but you are assured that whatever you face, you have a home to go back to.
Passion
Love is the greatest force in the world. Rightly so, it is the most passionate feeling you could ever have. More than just sizzling chemistry, it’s what makes people climb mountains, lose sleep, and take risks.
Being passionately in love is what fuels a couple to make each other happy and to go further in their relationship. If your partner is not excited about your future together, doesn’t show they care, and is not pleased with your efforts, then you deserve someone better.
Laughter
Humor brings life to everything, especially in a relationship. When you can shamelessly make fun of each other and know each one’s funny bone, then you’re sure to have enough laughs to last you a lifetime.
Everyone deserves a feel-good, enjoyable relationship. Being with the love of your life doesn’t have to be all serious. Goofing around and cracking jokes give balance to every couple’s inevitable dramas.
Freedom to be Who You Are
When you find someone with whom you can be comfortable in your own skin, then that one is for keeps. They let you be who you are with your quirks, gifts, and limitations. They understand that you have complex layers and take time to discover you more and more deeply.
You can be vulnerable yet feel the safest. You deserve to be loved the right way by someone who accepts you completely with no exceptions or reservations.
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Supports and Believes in You
Your partner is someone who values your goals and dreams as if they were their own. You can count on them to stick around in difficulties and triumphs alike. They encourage and comfort you when facing failures and rejoice with you in your achievements.
Without them, the struggles seem endless but with their faithful support, no obstacle is impossible to overcome. You deserve someone who believes in you and champions your talents every step of the way.
Helps You Become a Better Person
A relationship is not just for fun and romance. When you are in it for the right reasons, you will bring out the best in the other person. Partners complement each other, bringing something new and unique to the plate.
While your common interests strengthen your bond, your differences will fill the gaps that you both need to grow. Your partner will also be willing to call you out knowing you will understand and appreciate it. When you realize you deserve better, you become a better person yourself.
Happiness
If you don’t feel happy in a relationship, then there’s no reason to stick around. Life with a partner is not always rainbows and roses. But if you are in a loving relationship, even in the toughest, most painful times, you touch a sense of contentment and joy that surpasses the difficulties.
When you are treated right, you experience the true happiness that you deserve.
Unconditional Love and Respect
All these signs factor into the most basic and greatest thing you deserve in a relationship, and that is unconditional love and respect. You deserve to be loved in a way that doesn’t demand you to be someone else and doesn’t set expectations in exchange for affection. Rather, you are honored and respected for who you are.
Respect means being patient with you when you have your tantrums and bad days, helping you to rise above these. It is also manifested when your goodness and beauty are acknowledged and praised, not stifled or mocked.
These two things are the top non-negotiable things you deserve in a relationship.
No matter where you are in a relationship, this list can help you determine whether you’re in the healthy zone or otherwise. Though sometimes we can have shortcomings and weaknesses, they should not hinder us from receiving what we deserve. Because in the end, you are deserving of love, both at your worst and at your best.
