How Online Dating Can Help You Find “The One”
A lot of people want to find “the one.” There’s a bit of romanticism in believing that everyone out there has someone just for them. But the journey towards finding that person isn’t linear and there’s a myriad of ways in which it can play out.
Some hearts get lucky and find their person at an early age, never having to wade into the trenches that is dating. But other people have to go through metaphorical hell until they find their person a little later in life.
There’s a lot of chatter regarding online dating. This is because it’s become quite popular. Ever since it went from websites that you needed a computer for to being on apps that are right there on your phone, it’s exploded in popularity.
The Wide World of Online Dating
There are plenty of niches within the world of dating on the internet. Jewish people have their own dating site. Elderly people have their own app. Christians have an app just for them. There are apps for high-income individuals. There are dating apps based on political affiliation. There are apps wherein women have to make the first move and send the first message.
There are free online dating sites for people who don’t want to pay. There are online matchmaking sites for people who’d rather not trust an algorithm. There are even sites for guys who’d rather find someone abroad as opposed to home.
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The art of online dating isn’t so much an art as it is a buffet—there’s something for everyone. But the most popular form that they take is in swipe-based apps that people can keep on their phone.
But, as popular as it is, it’s also polarizing. Some people don’t think that online dating is the right way to find “the one.”
In the past, it used to be stigmatized because it was thought that the only people who’d turn to the internet were people who couldn’t find someone out in the real world. Nowadays, the stigma is that people who go on apps aren’t looking for lasting relationships but are just looking for quick, meaningless hookups. Then there’s the evergreen fear of being catfished.
The fears are valid. A lot of dating apps don’t have high barriers to entry and welcome as many people as possible. That said, they do have security measures to root out catfish profiles.
Some of the other criticisms directed at online dating are less valid. Yes, there are plenty of people on the internet who only want to have a little fling, but there are just as many, if not more, people who want to find their person.
But another, more valid, criticism is that online dating for average looking guys is an uphill battle. A guy has a few moments to make an impression with his profile before he gets passed over. So a lot of guys end up with no luck with online dating.
That said, a lot of people, including “average” guys, have been able to find a partner that they later end up marrying.
Nathan’s Story
Years ago, this agency worked with a man we’ll call Nathan. Nathan is an average guy in his thirties and has a stable income. Before he hit the age of 30, Nathan had dated several women. But when those relationships didn’t work out, he decided to take a break from dating.
Then Nathan hit 30 and decided that it was time to start dating again. When he did decide to get back out there, he’d found that the people around had gone online to find their partners.
So Nathan decided that he’d also go online and signed up with the agency. He then met someone in Costa Rica and went on the company’s many tours to the country to meet her. Nathan later married that woman and is now living his best life with her.
Quick Tips for Online Dating
Online dating sites are tools. The critical moments to successful online dating happen before your first interaction. Keep these in mind before first hopping on to the site:
1. Choose your site.
As mentioned, there are sites for everyone. Which one works for you? Will you wage your future on the latest dating app? Or will you spend your precious time and hard-earned money with sites that have a reputation for making things happen?
2. Know your standards.
Love may be unpredictable, but not every romantic detail has to be random. Have a good idea of what you want your future to look like.
3. Can you take it offline?
All the online dating in the world won’t matter if you can’t make a physical connection anytime soon. Online matchmaking sites like this one encourage their users to sign up for out-of-country tours for face-to-face dating.
4. Be genuine.
There are enough scams on the internet, so don’t be one. Oftentimes, a person’s sincerity can go beyond the computer screen.
5. Don’t be gullible.
Always protect yourself when on the internet. Avoid giving overly sensitive information online, especially that which can be used against you. This is why you should spend your time on sites that have safety guards against potential scammers. This site screens all the individuals that are featured here.
Your Decisions Are What Makes It Worthwhile
So, how did Nathan find love through online dating? Because he made the choice to ignore the criticisms listed above. He made the choice to sign up, to open himself up to someone, to meet that woman, and marry her.
Nathan made decisions and then he acted upon those decisions. If he hadn’t made those decisions, chances are that he wouldn’t have met the woman he’d eventually marry. The biggest contributor to Nathan’s romantic success was Nathan himself.
That’s the secret of dating that no one talks about. Plenty of people talk about being confident, negging, peacocking, and all kinds of different strategies. Almost no one talks about simply having the guts to make a decision and do it.
Nathan made the decision to put himself out there and it paid off for him. He took his happiness into his own hands and now it’s his forever.
Are online dating apps worth it? The answer is subjective because whether or not they are worth it is entirely dependent on the decisions that each individual user makes. If a guy makes the decision to put himself out there and make the most of the app or website, then it could very well end up being worth it.
Conversely, the entire experience won’t be worth it if all a guy decides to do is to do nothing. Lots of people sign up for apps and websites just to browse, but they never take the leap and try to connect with anyone. They’re half-hearted about it and because of that, it doesn’t work out for them.
There are a lot of people for whom online dating isn’t going to be worth it. This is because of their mindset when they approach it. They’ll tell themselves that it’s full of catfish or people who are looking for flings. If it’s an international dating site, they’ll tell themselves that it’s full of people who’ll leave them as soon as they get a green card.
There are almost no certainties when it comes to trying to find love on the internet. That’s just online dating 101. But here’s one thing that is for sure; nothing will happen if nothing is done.
So if you want online dating to be worth anything to you, then you have to make the decision to make it worth something.
