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Approach anxiety can be overcome when you practice interacting with more people.
Have you ever felt so nervous meeting someone new that you literally froze? Your brain stops working, you're
tongue-tied, and you can't think of anything to say. Then you may have a case of approach anxiety.
So what is approach anxiety? It's a type of social anxiety that can make it difficult to interact with
strangers. It can manifest as a feeling of fear, nervousness, or apprehension when you're about to approach
someone new, especially someone you like.
At that moment, you may feel like you're going to pass out or throw up. Your heart may start racing, you may
break out in a sweat, and you might feel like you can't breathe. As a result, you're unable to get to know the
person that you're interested in.
Why Do We Feel Approach Anxiety
Sometimes, when we are faced with a new situation, our brain goes into overdrive, trying to process everything
and figure out what to do.
According to a PsychCentral article, anxiety, in general, has been a part of the human experience for
as long as we have been recording history. And even classic writers like Hippocrates, Cicero, and Seneca,
already recognize anxiety. They described anxiety symptoms such as irrational fear of certain situations and
excessive worry.
Approach anxiety is generally a normal human response when we are faced with uncomfortable situations. It often
occurs when the anxious mind overthinks the potential outcome of an interaction. We may worry about what the
other person will think of us, or how we will perform in the interaction. In the end, we tend to catastrophize
the situation or believe that the outcome will be much worse than it actually is.
It's a common experience, especially for people who are shy or introverted, or those who struggle with low
self-esteem. They may engage in negative self-talk, which causes them to believe that they're something wrong
with them. They may worry about being judged or rejected, and they may feel uncomfortable in unfamiliar
settings.
This type of anxiety can make your experience quite uncomfortable, but fortunately, it's manageable. According
to BetterHelp, it's a self-created phenomenon. It is a product of our thoughts and unfounded beliefs.
Therefore, we are also capable of stopping and controlling it.
Your anxious mind will cause you to believe that you're not good enough.
Here are ways how to get over approach anxiety.
1. Acknowledge your fear.
What's scaring you from meeting this person and initiating a conversation? Pinpoint what you're scared of.
Accept that you are feeling anxious and allow yourself to feel those emotions. Take some deep breaths to calm
your body and mind before taking your first step toward the other person.
2. Approach the situation with rational thinking.
When you feel anxious about meeting someone, try to stay calm and objective. Don't let your emotions get the
best of you. Challenge your negative thoughts about what could go wrong. Are you really going to make a fool of
yourself? The worst that could happen is that you don't form an initial connection. And that's not the end of
the world. You can always try again later or meet something new.
3. Do not expect so much when first meeting someone.
Set realistic expectations for the interaction. It's unlikely that you're going to become best friends or hit
it on the first approach. Do not put too much pressure on yourself. Try to focus on the other person and what
they're saying, and don't worry about yourself too much. Take note that the more you fear something, the more
it will happen.
4. Remember that the interaction will not last forever.
This is a helpful reminder when you're feeling anxious about approaching someone. The interaction will be over
before you know it, so there's no need to worry about it too much. The reality is, most people are too busy
worrying about themselves to be focused on what you're thinking.
5. Think about the reasons why you're approaching this person.
You're meeting them because you want to know them better. You start a conversation in an attempt to do that.
But is having a simple conversation worthy of worrying about? It's definitely not. The only worst that could
happen is that the conversation doesn't go well. But even if that happens, you'll still learn something from
the experience.
6. Consider the potential outcomes when you decide to start a conversation or avoid it.
Think about the pros and cons of both options. If you start a conversation, you might make a new friend or
learn something new. Although you may also feel anxious or uncomfortable, you know it's temporary. If you avoid
the conversation, you'll avoid those negative feelings, but you may also miss out on an opportunity.
While approach anxiety can be managed, don't let anyone tell you that it's just anxiety.
In a nutshell, the best way to deal with this kind of anxiety is to practice. The more you put yourself in
social situations, the easier it will become to manage your anxiety. You can also try mindfulness techniques,
such as deep breathing and meditation, to help calm your mind and body.
Never let your anxiety control you.
Are you too nervous to approach a girl or boy you like? That's okay. It's normal to feel a little bit nervous
before talking to someone new. It doesn't mean that you're not attractive or that something is wrong with you.
It just means that you're human.
But don't let your approach anxiety hold you back. Even the most confident people can still experience anxiety
when dealing with something new. It's a matter of how you handle it. It's ok to be scared but don't be afraid
to deal with your emotions with a rational mind. There's nothing that can hurt you unless you allow them to.
You are more than what you feel.
This is not to invalidate your feelings and say, “It's just anxiety, get over it.” It's simply a reminder that
there are things that we can do to manage our anxiety and be less worried about meeting
people for the first time. The more you practice interacting with people, the easier it will
become to approach people you like and build connections.
Instead of focusing on your flaws, focus on your strengths. Remind yourself that you are fine just the way you
are and that you have something to offer. With practice, you can overcome your negative thoughts and emotions
and face social interactions with confidence.